Transcript
Shema: What are you doing? You have tons of work to do! Shouty (in the Sukhasana yoga pose): Shh… I’m busy. This is called “conscious procrastination.”
Category Archives: Comics
National Pet Week
Transcript
Shouty: I’d like the cake to say: “Happy National Pet Week.” Baker” National what week? Shouty: Pet – like pets. Baker: Spell it. The connection is going in and out. Shouty: Uh…P as in pneumonia. E as in…ennui. T as in…tsunami. S as in…s-curl. Baker: Nose week?
Happy Star Wars Day
Transcript
May the Fourth Be with You! [Marc is Chewbacca, Leonard is Han, Sock-Sock is Yoda, Shouty is Luke, Merlington is Leia, Shema is R2D2, and Cousin is C3PO.]
Beef Jerky
Transcript
Marc: I heard beef jerky is really high in sodium. In fact, I heard beef in general wasn’t good for you. [Shouty is mid-bite into a rod of beef jerky.] Marc: Just sayin’…. [Shouty stares out to space, thinking about how he could be eating someone Marc knows.]
Faking It
Transcript
Man on TV: If your mind can conceive and believe it, you can achieve it! Shouty thinks: Is that why I can’t lose weight? Cuz I can’t envision myself fit? [Shouty has an idea!] While looking at himself in the mirror with virtual reality goggles and flexing with his panus out, he thinks to himself: Yes, I lost the weight!
Ants (Cont’d)
Transcript
Shouty: How’s your ant problem? Leonard: I see about 20 a day but it’s fewer than last week. Shouty: Maybe they could help you put in that new deck. They are carpenter ants, right? [Leonard looks speechless.]
Ants
Transcript
Leonard: Ants I captured from my house. As a vegan, I can’t bear to kill’em so I’m setting them free! Shouty: Don’t you think you’re taking this too far? Leonard: No I’m just going to the park across the street.
Procrastinators
Transcript
Cousin: Do procrastinators live longer lives? Shouty: Um…I don’t think so. Why do you ask? Cousin: Because it seems like they would put off dying. [Shouty’s mind is blown.]