Transcript
Shouty: After I lose weight, why do I always gain more back? Shema (off-screen): Because fat remembers the fun and invites friends.
Category Archives: Comics
Planned Procrastinating
Transcript
Shouty: I just filed my tax extension. Merlington: But you still have two whole weeks! Shouty: Nah.
Her Name is Sleep
Transcript
Sleep the Savage Seducer
:: Abandons u when u need her
[Shouty is wide awake in the middle of the night.]
:: And shows up when u don’t
[Shouty is struggling to stay awake while driving.]
Permissions
Transcript
[When you try to get an app]
Lazy Man’s Lexicon App by SoundSmartie, Inc. for Everyone.
Sound smart with little effort! Improve your vocabulary every time you’re on the toilet.
[But pass because they nosy]
Lazy Man’s Lexicon needs accces to Identity, Contacts, Location, Camera, Microphone, YMCA Safe Combo, Bank routing/acct #’s, Social Security #, Mom’s Maiden Name, Fecal Pantone Color
Whatever Works
Transcript
Shouty: My phone’s broken. It’ll be strange going to bed without it…. Shema: You’ll be fine. [Shouty shines a flashlight on his face to mimic the blue light emitted from a mobile phone screen and sleeps soundly.]
Seasonal Itis
Transcript
Doctor: You listed you were allergic to Effor. Is that a drug? Shouty: I meant “Effort.” It’s not chronic though.
Where is the lie?
Transcript
[When you know you lyin’]
Shouty: “…diet is going great! For lunch I had a green smoothie, fruit, and sliced veggies.
[But it holds up in court]
Pi
Transcript
Cousin: Will I ever use pi in real life? Shouty: Let me show you my pizza takeout menu. [Pizza of Giza Menu shows calculations of the area of each pizza and the corresponding price per square inch so that Shouty can choose the best priced pizza.]